Not only would I like to give props to all my friends who actually read this page...no, no! I'm giving them MAD props!

So here's how I figure my marriage (if and when it happens) will crumble:
I'll come down to the kitchen one morning for breakfast, still in a robe. My wife will be sitting at the kitchen table. I'll grab myself a bagel, maybe some toast (something containing wheat on which I can spread something containing dairy), and I'll sit down at the table. I'll then grab the morning paper and begin to browse over it while eating. I'll spot something funny and/or interesting in the paper and let out a small laugh that sounds something like "Huhh." My wife will not look up. I'll quietly clear my throat and make the small "Huhh" laugh again. She still will not look up. I'll go "Well, that's uh...well that's funny." My wife will slowly lower the paper so that only her eyes are visable over it, and then she will raise her left eyebrow. "Yes?" she'll ask, her voice full of contempt for me. "Well, I just saw this funny article in the newspaper," I'll reply. Her left eyebrow will raise even higher, possibly disregarding the laws of physics. "And?" she'll ask, the contempt in her voice not waining a bit. "Well, I just thought you might want to hear it." At this point she'll slam down the paper, the back of the finance page now smooshed against her bagel on the table. "So why don't you just come out and tell me the funny story instead of dropping all your little "hmm"s and "haww"s." "Okay, there were no "haw"s," I will tell her. "Oh that's not the point!" she will yell. "Y'know what? Forget it! It wasn't even that funny!" I'll yell back. I will hoist my newspaper up on front of my face, she will hoist hers up in front of her, and we will finish our things containing wheat on which we can spread something containing dairy, in silence. And this...will be the crumbling of our marriage. Bummer huh? Later.