Y'know...there's a reason why a microwave is called a microwave and not a toaster! It simply doesn't toast! I discovered this the hard way yesterday when I really wanted to have some toast and jam. I put the bread in the microwave, only to take it out 30 seconds later and see it even softer than before. I was very disapointed.
In other news, (and at the risk of sounding like a 53 year old Jewish man), Oy! My back is killing me! I think part of it may be this chair that I use while sitting at the computer, which looks nice enough, but really has a secret motivation to turn my spine into something resembling those lines on the roadsigns which warn, "Road Curves Ahead!" On a related note, other things that may make me sound like a 53 year old Jewish man are: "What, you're Mr. Bigshot now? Too busy to call me?" and "I just about plotzed when I heard the news! He should BE so lucky!" Alright, well my potato latkes are almost done, so I gotta get going. Later.

PrimerBoy5: you're not a goat
Pr1nc2ss12: I've noticed that

So I decided to actually do something today rather than have today do something to me, so I cleaned. First I cleaned the bathroom (of my own free will! Holy free holy!), and then I kinda moved onto the kitchen. I tried to clean out the drawers, which isn't as easy as it sounds. Here, for your enjoyment is an actual list of things I found in one drawer of my kitchen.
1. Blue and purple crate paper
2. A tiny army man
3. Fuses
4. A shoehorn
5. 23 matchbooks
6. An alan key
7. About 10 real keys, unaware of what any of them go to
8. Swimming goggles
9. Warrenty information on products I don't believe we own
10. 7 "Ronson Flints! Best For Every Lighter!"
11. An ink pad
12. A tiny crumpled piece of paper with the e-mail address Jharmony88@hotmail.com on it. I have NO idea who this person is
13. Twisty ties
14. A bobby pin
15. Menus
16. Window locks
Well, I think that was about the extend of the stuff in there. In any event, just some very odd crap. A drawer of the damned even. Anything you've ever mysteriously lost in the dryer...it ends up in that drawer. Hmm, I need to keep cleaning. Later.

And now, because people have just been itchin' at me to present it, here is my rant (or rather, just examples) on how we, as a society, are de-evolving.

1) On the el on the way to work the other day, just reading a book, minding my business. This man boarded the train, sat next to me, and started making some kind of odd crunching noise, which I was trying not to pay attention to while I read my book. After a while though I couldn't ignore the noise anymore and looked over to see him eating sunflower seeds, and letting the outsides fall all over his jacket, pants, and the floor of the train. He kept this up for about 20 minutes, and then got up to get off at his stop, leaving parts of the floor not even visable under the shells. And he continued to eat! He made a little trail from his seat to the door! It was quite disgusting.
2) Right after Sunflower Man, I was walking from the train to work, and out of nowehere a guy I can't see (he was in the crowd about a block away) makes an, "ooohhww OOOHHWW" noise (think of the kind of cawing noise a bird makes). After he made this noise I heard a woman behind me go "ooohhwww OOHHWW" back. I was witnessing a genuine mating call! Again, the man I couldn't see went, "oohhhww OOOHHWW!" and again, the girl behind me replied, "oooohhhww OOHHHWW!" At this point a friend of the girl behind me asked, "What are you doing?" to which the girl, who could have been half bird for all I know, replied, "I dunno. It's fun." Yes, we really are de-evolving. If this continues we'll be back to whompum, and picking ticks off/grooming each other. I don't know about you people, but I don't want to wear a loincloth. I just don't. Later.