So y'know how people supposedly always make these lists of great things they want to acomplish in their lifetimes before they die (or at least before they become human veggies hooked up to big machines and are forced to get sponge baths by Jamacan women)? Well...I have two parts to follow up that statement/question. 1) Here, for your enjoyment (or not) is my list of things I DON'T ever want to do in my lifetime.
1. Get a nickname in quotes (e.g. Josh "The Kicker" Eisenberg)
2. Learn another language
3. Have someone say to me, "Hey, did anyone ever tell you that you look like Richard Simmons?"
4. Read 'War and Peace'
5. Make a dumbass list like this!

And now, part 2! ...and this includes audience participation! I want you to mail in your lists of things you want to do in your lifetime (or NOT do in your lifetime) and the best (and/or worst ones) will be published here next Monday the 1st for everyone to enjoy. So wipe the dust off those old lists you wrote when you were 21 and mail them in to me at Primerboy5@aol.com And, as if seeing your list up here on my site isn't reward enough, the person with the best list (judged by my idea of "best" of course) will win a carton of milk and a telephone cord. That's right...dairy and phone wire! So send in your entires by Sunday the 30th... times a wastin!