Well it's dentist day for me, and you know what that means - time to rehash old stories of trips to the dentist. Of course there was the time the woman cleaning my teeth told me I had inflamed gums, and suggested I try and floss more because I'm, "really too cute to have inflamed gums." Moments later when she stuck the sucky thing in my mouth was nervous and bumped it with my tongue, causing me to spit up on her. Most interactions with women in my life have gone similar.

And of course there's always people's theory that they should brush right before going to the dentist. I feel exactly the opposite! The last time I went to the dentist not only did I not brush, but I ate a scrambled egg panini thing from Corner Bakery right before. "Did you just eat?" the woman cleaning my teeth asked. "Yes, actually, I had a-" "That's okay! I can see it! No need to tell me." Ah, the dentist.