I was walking to the train this morning and decided to grab a Trib. After that saw RedEye next to it and grabbed one of those. Past that saw Onion and grabbed that too. Suddenly felt like Holly Hunter's character in Broadcast News. If only someone had come up to me and said, "It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room."

No. It's awful.

Scene: The locker room at my gym. Two guys in their 20's are talking.
Guy #1: Man, I really miss high school.
Guy #2: Tell me about it dude. And, like, you went to a private Catholic school. That's awesome!
Guy #1: Well I just, like, miss the whole mentality, you know? How easy and fun it all was.
Guy #2: And dude, all those Catholic schoolgirls running around.
Guy #1: I guess, but, like, that wasn't my point at all. I was talking about that time in my life.
Guy #2: But man...all those plaid skirts! That's what I'm talkin' bout! Damn!
Guy #1: Man, I'm talking about how that's just a great time in your life though. So carefree, and all your friends are there...
Guy #2: But dude, those girls were so hot. You know what I mean?
Guy #1: sigh

(The following discussion took place at the library between the old lady who sits at the reception desk, and myself. The topic is the new desk pad.)

Me: Ooh, new pad?
Annie: Uh huh!
Me: It's white.
Annie: Yeah, they couldn't find the good kind.
Me: The good kind?
Annie: The leather kind. We used to have those all the time, but not no more! All because a' 911!
Me: The emergency line?
Annie: No! 911! You know!
Me: September 11th?
Annie: That's right!
Me: We don't have a leather desk pad because of September 11th?
Annie: Yeah! They gotta...use that leather for other stuff!
Me: What? This isn't world war I, we're not rationing.
Annie: You don't know that!
Me: Right. We can no longer find leather desk pads. The terrorists have won.
Annie: Uh huh!

(later that day)

Kaytey: Hey, new desk pad.
Me: Yeah.
Kaytey: Why is it white?
Me: Terrorists.

Scene: This morning at work, a woman from the back office comes out with a poster tube.
Woman: We have an extra poster from the Van Gogh exhibit if anybody wants it.
(Everyone shrugs apathetically.)
Woman: (turning to me) You could put it up, add some color to your home! Cover up all those ugly walls you have!
Me: No, that's fine. But thank you for assuming I have ugly walls at home.

Scene: In the diary aisle at the supermarket. Two men with foreign accents are standing in front of the cheese.

Man #1: You don't want to get cheese from over here.
Man #2: And why not?
Man #1: Look at this cheese! It's horrible. This is all American cheese! It's crap!
(Man #2 smiles at me awkwardly and I try and hide the fact that I have the "bad cheese" in my basket)
Man #2: Well maybe I want to be patriotic!
Man #1: Come on. We're getting cheese from over there. The good cheese!

I later saw the two men buying fresher cheese from the deli counter.

Just an odd little realization: At the special archives table at the library the patron has to fill out a special slip to request books. Among the people who have requested things from the archives...Neil Harris (darn close to Neil Patrick Harris who played Doogie Howser on TV), and also John Ritter (of course sharing the name of the man from Threes Company fame). Oh how I'm looking forward to the day when Gary Coleman comes to request a book.

Well, much the way a Bar Mitzvah would officially make me a man, I feel I have had a Writer Mitzvah, and today I am a writer. I am now a writer for the zine Side Winder (www.sidewinderzine.com), and already the panic about writers block has overcome me. I figure if I absolutely can't come up with something to write I'll just come back to my blog and steal something from myself that I had written a while ago. Ah, there's nothing like plagiarizing yourself. Not that I would get so desperate as to recycle an old blog just to fill space. Don't be silly. Really. I would never.

[5/28/2002 5:18:42 PM]
Is there anything more beautiful that summer in the city? Well...okay, yes, there probably is. BUT...is there anything more beautiful than summer in the city AND has a song written about it by Joe Cocker? I think not. Unless of course you view being, "All right" as a supremely beautiful thing.