The other night I took Bernadette's dogs into the backyard for their late night bathroom trip. The both of them ran out, found spots on the grass, and immediately started peeing. "Ah," I playfully and loudly said, "That's what I like to see! Synchronized peeing!" At that moment a man walked out from behind the fence that separates the sidewalk from the yard. The entire time he walked along the sidewalk he just gave me a, "What are you on?" look. I tried to avoid his gave, keeping my enthusiasm for the peeing to a minimum. I then thought to myself, how many times a day do we talk to our pets in a way that we would never, ever, talk to another human being? I personally know I would never comment on a human being's synchronized peeing. Nor would I probably say to them, "Whooosa goodboy?! Huuuh?! Whooosmy litttlle Mr. Pants?! Yooouuuu are!" Not only would I not apply the tone used to say that statement, more than likely I would never call another human being Mr. Pants. Bernadette's dog, despite the fact that his name is Atmos, gets called Mr. Pants dozens of times daily. Her other dog, Vega, gets called Horse. My point here? Beats me. But just for fun, try and say to your pet, "Hello cat, how are you today?" in a monotone voice, and then go to work and say to your boss, "Helllloooo litttlle cutttie woooty. What are you - No! No, off! Get off my pants! No bite! Bad boss!" and proceed to smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. Oh what humorous results you'll find.