Last night North End (the bar that I work at) had it's 20th anniversary party. To celebrate there was lots of food, free drinks, and bartenders in tuxedos. All in all the party went off without a hitch. Then, around 1am, this guy started hitting on me, billing himself as "the most award winning gay porn star last year." That's right. For all you gay porn fanatics out there, you know I'm talking about Bret Wolfe (whose website you can visit at www.BretWolfe.com). Bret (whose real name is Jake) kept saying that we would make a great pair, much like Britney and Madonna. "You'd be Madge and I'd be Britney!" he kept insisting. "Yes, well, we'll see about that," I kept saying and then hurrying off to grab some drinks. "But you're adorable!" he would cry out, and then give me detailed accounts of the things we would do, which I would enjoy even though I was not gay (and which I cannot print here because...well...this is a family blog). Why can't I ever meet women porn stars like this?