Last night while hanging out with my brother et all I heard the news that in February he would be getting an apartment with Bret Wolfe. Why can't I get Bret out of my life?! Oh the humanity!

This morning I got to work and was the only one there. I sat out at circulation a bit, doing some work, looking a bit worried. When not one single person had showed up after being there a half hour I walked into the back and saw Hannah, telling her "No one is here." "Are you lonely?" she asked. "A bit," I said. "But I'm worried, I mean...where is everyone?" "Well it's only 8:30 Josh, I-" "It's 8:30?" I quickly looked at my watch; I had been running one hour ahead of schedule. It's currently 8:35. Good morning.

Scene: Woman on the train with her three kids, and she was as crazy as she sounds.
Kid #1: Mommy, Joey's left eye is different than his right.
Mom: That's right sweety. Cause all eyes are different. Like, the way they have eye tests like they have fingerprint tests. Cause no two eyes are the same. Just like...just like no two ears are the same. With science today, y'know, they could have an ear test. And, y'know, just like no two noses are the same, or...well...actually, I don't know about that nose one.

Today I was in my friend Leah's cubicle at work, looking up a crossword puzzle online. Unfortunately however the website didn't support doing the crosswords on Macintosh computers, causing me to say to Leah:

"The site won't let Macs do crosswords."
"Who's Max?" Leah asked.

Last weekend James Brown was named "secretary of soul and the foreign minister of funk" by Secretary of State Colin Powell. On Monday the State Department confirmed Brown's appointment to the apparently fictitious and salaryless job. Yeah, nice work Colin. It's not like you should be busy worrying about that war thing over in the Middle East. As long as you're making up titles, lets make Marcel Marceau the secretary of silence. Maybe Reagan can get back into politics as the ambasador or absent-mindedness! Jeez!

The MoMA in New York is currently showing a film exhibit entitled "The Hidden God: Film and Faith." Movies with "hidden" spiritually themes are explored, including films by Ingmar Bergman, Robert Bresson, Roberto Rossellini. And then there's Groundhog Day. As most people know Groundhog Day is the movie where Bill Murray plays an arrogant weatherman who has to repeat the same day over and over until he does selfless good acts for others. Evidently the film has been embraced by Hasidic Jews, Jesuits, and Buddhists as excellent way to explain their beliefs. "Dali? Dali Llama? Dali Llama, I thought that was you! Now don't you tell me you don't remember me 'cause I sure as heckfire remember you!"

The other night I was sitting at home bored and I turned CSPAN2 on. Yes, I was that bored. Anyway, Tony Blair was on giving a press conference, talking about a change in payment for universities in England. Then, in the middle of an argument, out of nowhere, a hand appears from the side of the screen holding a cup of tea. Blair breaks out of his argument, turns to the hand and says, "Oh, why thank you," and takes the tea. Oh those crazy Brits! Them and their tea; anytime, anywhere!

And just when you thought you'd heard the last of him...
Luke Perry, the former teen heart-throb (for someone I'm sure) from Beverly Hills 90201, has announced that he will star in a London stage version of 'When Harry Met Sally' playing the role originated by Billy Crystal. Sigh.

Can you even imagine Luke Perry being funny (or even good for that matter) saying, "Eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?"

Bernadette and I were watching TV the other night with the dogs (or rather, us watching, dogs hanging out being dogs), when we turned the channel to some old kung fu movie and suddenly the dogs were enthralled! They were both watching the screen intently and didn't look away until we changed the channel a minute later. Who knew dogs loved kung fu? ...Except maybe that cartoon kung fu dog from the 70's, Hong Kong Fuey.