Some people worry about getting Cancer. Others worry about getting Gang Green. But no one ever worries about Gerd. Well I do now!

This morning at work I mentioned to Leah that I had a pain in my throat and chest.
Leah: That sounds like Heartburn, Dude.
Me: Heartburn?!
Leah: You're getting old.
Me: Heartburn?!
Leah: Maybe you have Gerd.
Me: What's Gerd?
Leah: My kitty has it. It's this acid reflux thing.
Me: (starting to worry) I have the same thing as your cat?!
Leah: I give her medicine. It's tuna flavored.
Me: (really losing it) Am I gonna have to take tuna flavored medicine?!
Leah: (shrugging) I don't know.

I promptly went to Google and looked up Gerd, which led me to Gerd.com. This, in turn, led to the Gerd FAQ. There were such questions as "What is Gerd?" "What are some symptoms of Gerd?" "Do children get Gerd?" "What is the difference between Gerd and Gord?" and "Can Gerd cause cancer?".

Me: I think I'm dying.
Leah: You're not dying, you just have Gerd.

Bring on the tuna flavored medicine.