Last night while we were out drinking this guy with what looked like a lip sore was hitting on Kellie.

Guy: Dude, and like, everyone's like, 'What, you've got herpes or something,' and I'm like, 'Nah, I got this swimming.' 'Cause like, I love to swim, and I was turning around, and I went too quickly and like, totally hit my face on the bottom of the pool. It like fucked up my lip and my tooth and my chin. And I was like 'Oh man, how could I do that?!' But it's cool 'cause I totally love to swim.

Later, I was talking to Micah.

Me: I don't like that guy who keeps talking to Kellie.
Micah: Eh, he's gay.
Me: No he's not.
Micah: Hey, I can have fantasies, can't I?