The other day Bernadette and I were taking the dogs out for a walk. A woman stopped us and asked:

Woman: Aww, what's her name? (referring to the dog, not Bernadette)
Me: Vega.
Woman: How many months pregnant is she?
Me: (awkward pause) Um, she's not.
Woman: Oh. Really?
Me: Yup, just fat.
Woman: Sorry.

Perhaps it's time to put Vega on a diet. Poor fatdog.