Even though he has owned his answering machine for more than a year Helf has refused to record an outgoing message for it. Therefore every time I call I hear, COMPUTERIZED VOICE: The party you have dialed is unavailable. Please leave your message after the tone. (beep!). It's very annoying. So last night I while I was over I recorded a message for him. "Hey, this is Paul and Micah," I said in a deep voice, so as to sound like Paul or Micah, "we're not here right now, leave a message."

Me: See how easy that was.
Helf: I guess.
Me: And do you see how much apathy went into *not* making that message?
Helf: It's not apathy. It's just...why do I care?
Me: That's apathy!

If you want to hear my lovely voice pretending to be Paul or Micah just call 773-281-5218