Last weekend there was a woman sitting at the bar that Sean insisted I ask out. I insisted that she was a lesbian.

Sean: But she's cute.
Me: But she's still a lesbian.
Sean: Oh I see, you just can't deal with women who aren't dependant on you.
Me: I'm just saying.
Sean: That's what Megan (Sean's girlfriend) says when she's done arguing. "I'm just saying." That means I'm right, you're wrong, argument over.
Me: But she's a lesbian!
Sean: Oh Megan's a lesbian now too?
Me: No, no, no. I'm sure she's very heterosexual, and if you're lucky she's heterosexual a few times in a night. I'm saying our friend here at the bar is a lesbian. She likes riding in her truck with her dog, drinking her Coors, and listening to k.d. Lang.
Sean: You know an awful lot about being a lesbian for someone who's not a lesbian.
Me: Yeah. I'm a lesbian now. You caught me!