The other day I got a voicemail from Bernadette.

"Hey J, it's me. Um, I haven't heard from you in a few days and I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Y'know, that you hadn't slipped in the bathroom and hit your head on the sink, and then woken up and invented something called the flux capacitor. So um...call me back."

Today Dina felt the need to share her newest find: A "reality show" on Animal Planet called Meow Mix House

On Meow Mix House 10 cats are picked to live in a house, and each week one of the cats is kicked off (well, and adopted by a family, but that sounds less reality show). It's pretty ridiculous.

Me: I can't tell if that show sounds really awesome or really sad.
Dina: It's really sad.
Me: Well it seems like it could be really awesome.
Dina: Well I think it's really awesome, but I think it's sad that I think it's awesome.
Me: Okay...that hurts my head.

Today marks Jargon's 1 week anniversary. Let's all take a moment of silence.

Though just when I thought I had become a world class editor (aka too cool for school) I got a rude high school reminder of who I used to be.

An old friend of mine (a girl I had gone to high school with and recently reconnected with on myspace), told me she was having a going away party for a friend, complete with a bunch of people I went to high school with. I was hesitant to go, but decided it couldn't hurt. When I showed up at the door one of the "popular girls" from my graduating class (we'll call her Jessica) answered the door.

Jessica: Hello?
Me: Hi.
Jessica: You look really familiar.
Me: Yeah. We went to high school together.
Jessica: (confused)Oh. Right.
(awkward pause)
Jessica: What was your name again?
Me: Josh.
Jessica: (still confused)Oh. Right.
(awkward pause)
Jessica: And what are you doing here?
Me: Alicia invited me.
Jessica: Alright.

And people wonder why I don't plan on attending my high school reunion.

Tonight Kel and I were debating if we should go out for a drink, or go out to a coffeeshop to do our respective "work".

Kel: I mean, it's kinda depressing that I count going out to a coffeeshop and sitting across from somebody who I don't even talk to as being social.

There is a pause between us, then in unison we say:

Josh and Kel: Demented and sad, but social.

Does quoting The Breakfast Club make us even sadder? You be the judge.

Well it's finally here. No, not the season finale of King of Queens (that was two weeks ago!), the launch of Jargon!

The culture and fashion mag that Lizze and I intended to start up is finally out there. It launches today at jargonchicago.com, so go...check it out.

We've got articles about Illinois scrambling for money, banned books, Grant Park music festivals, neckties, new music, and even a hot photospread. So what are you waiting for? Go already!

Last night I answered the phone at work.

Man: Yes, hi. Is John (the owner) there?
Me: May I ask who's calling?
Man: Jim Brown.

I went out onto the patio where John was watering flowers. "Jim Brown is on the phone for you," I said. John shook his head, confused.

"Jim Brown doesn't ring any bells?" I asked. John continued shaking his head and asked, "Jim Brown? What, like James Brown?"

"Yes," I deadpanned. "James Brown, the godfather of soul, is on the phone for you."

Earlier tonight I was watching TV and I happened to catch the end of the latest Star Wars movie. The one about Sith.

As I was watching it I noticed something kind of odd. Is it just me or is the end, when all the Jedis around the galaxy are getting killed off, one by one, in surprise fashion, really similar to that part in The Godfather when Michael orders the hit on all the New York mob bosses and they're all killed off, one by one, in surprise fashion?

Is George Lucas ripping off Mario Puzo?

If only the scene of the Jedis being killed off was inter-cut with the baptizing of Luke and Leia. Or...space baptizing. Or whatever it is that Jedis do to their kids.

Today I was trolling the Craigslist's Missed Connections (hoping to find someone who had missed me), when I came across this headline:

Pretty brunette who hates homeless beggers - m4w - 33 (Wrigleyville)

The ad goes on to talk about how this guy ran into a girl at Taco Bell, they talked about how they hate homeless people, and then she spilled something and he offered her a napkin.

I ask you: If not for the internet, how would bigots be getting together? How?!

It's after midnight and Kellie and I are at the 24 hour Starbucks. I'm working on Jargon and Kellie is writing a paper for school. I make a comment about how I hope somebody steals her stupid HP laptop while she's in the bathroom.

Me: What do you care? You're getting a Mac soon anyway.
Kel: Aww, then we'll both have Macs.
Me: Yup.
Kel: (getting excited) And they can both go on Mac dates.
Me: I guess.
Kel: And your Mac can get a crush on my Mac!
Me: I don't think so. Besides, your Mac will only like girls.

So...hello again.

Some of you may be wondering what's happened to me. Did he die? you may be wondering. Did he get trapped under something heavy? could be another good guess. There's probably a slew of other probabilities I can't even think of right now.

The truth of the matter is I'm starting an online magazine with my friend Lizze. That's been gobbling up a lot of my time lately, and at the end of the day I just can't get myself to sit down in front of the computer any longer to write a blog. But in the interest of all you people who actually read this, here's quick summary of what you missed: Thick Mint cookies (as an alternative to thin mints), with a picture of the box included; Getting myself trapped in the basement of my apartment building for an hour and a half; Singing Neil Diamond at a restaurant downtown with a piano player who may or may not have known how to actually play piano; A reality show called "WASPs Say the Darndest Things" based on a conversation I overheard where WASPs were talking about different kinds of lettuce and greens, and how much they enjoyed them. I think that hits all the highlights of anything you might have missed in my life. Now that that's taken care of...

The magazine we're staring is called Jargon [www.jargonchicago.com] and launches June 12th so...mark your calendar. Or put a Post-It up on your monitor. Just do whatever it takes to go take a look.

And I'll try and post more regularly. I swear.