Dear Holiday Trinket Makers,

Stop making everything animatronic. For serious. I don't want a snowman that sings. I don't want a reindeer that dances. I'm perfectly content with quiet, stationary objects. Really. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that I have a rule that there is nothing allowed in my house that sings or dances that A) Doesn't sing or dance in nature, or B) Doesn't sing or dance the rest of the year. My houseplant just sits there. Same goes for my picture frames. I've never heard or seen my lighting do anything other than light.

Basically I'm saying this: Just because we've reached a technological point where we can make anything play music and vibrate side to side, it doesn't mean that we should.

It's bad enough that we have to deal with the overload of Christmas paraphernalia every year, I'd rather not have it actively and audibly vying for my attention.

I'm certain there are thousands of Walgreens and CVS employees out there who are subject to dealing with said vibrating/singing trinkets all day and will whole-heartedly agree with me on this.

Seriously. Just consider what I'm saying.

Sincerely,

Joshua D. Eisenberg

p.s. This has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish and don't celebrate Christmas. I like to believe this is an issue transcends, among other things, religion.