Several years ago I had a girlfriend who, for the sake of this story (and this girl's anonymity), let's call Uma. Why Uma? Because it makes the story that much more entertaining.

Now Uma and I were dating, and Uma started staying over at my house regularly. Uma, like a handful of women, liked pillows. Lots of pillows. I, personally, never really cared for them. I just need one. Sometimes not even one. But that Uma, she liked her pillows.

So Uma forced me to go pillow shopping. Forced! And this wasn't just to buy an extra pillow. No. For starters I got two additional regular sized pillows (2!). Then I had to buy a body pillow (body what?!). Pretty soon there wasn't enough room for two people in the bed! ...Which turned out okay, because Uma and I ended up breaking up.

But then, after the dust had settled, I was still stuck with these pillows. To this day (more than two years later) I still have the pillows, though the two standard size ones are lost somewhere down in my storage space. And what of the body pillow? It spends its days along the headboard, behind the normal pillows. And at night? Occasionally we spoon (with me, needless to say, always being the big spoon).

I like to think of the pillows as the children in a divorce. Sure, the marriage might not have worked out, but that doesn't mean nothing good came out of it. At least I have full custody of the pillows.