WAIT!!! That means Jake Gyllenhaal is a Jew!!!!! Right???? Which makes total sense why I would do so many dirty...oh...hi Josh's mom!!!!

Do we really trust what Wickapedia says? I mean, after all the drama that unfolded there last year.

But I, too, would do dirty things to Jake. One word...Yummm.

If you married Maggie and I married Jake, would we be brothers squared? Hi Mom!

How come a post I wrote about women got comments only from gay men talking about Jake Gylenhaal?

Seriously, how did that happen?

Well, really, would anyone turn Natalie Portman out of bed? The woman even looked good bald. Plus those eyes.

Now you have a woman talking about a woman comment. Is that an improvement?

I'm more of a maggie girl. Natalie is too skinny.

this is one of the funniest things i've read in a long time.

Oh Felicity! Felicity, Felicity, Felicity!