berg with fries

02.25.08 So Far Off

Things I would ideally be doing when I run into an ex:

- Talking to a model at a party
- Winning the Nobel Prize
- Saving a dog and/or baby from a burning building
- Having David Bowie tell me he thinks I'm cool

Things I have actually been doing when I've run into an ex:

- Seeing how much BubbleTape I can fit into my mouth at once while walking down the sidewalk, causing myself to gag and slightly drool
- Trying out a new facial hair style that makes me look like a pirate
- Pretending my glasses had fogged up and I couldn't see them
- Buying a bedskirt at Bed Bath & Beyond

Comments

+Jamie says... Those are definitely good hah-in-your-face-I'm-awesome things I'd rather be doing too if I ran into an ex.

+The Maiden Metallurgist says... Arrrr, ye matey.

+Librarian Girl says... You have to amend your list. "MAKING OUT with a model at a party." That's what it should say. And really, why not:
2. MAKING OUT with your Nobel Prize.
3. MAKING OUT with David Bowie.

The burning building thing can stand as is.

Come on, dream BIG, baby!

+Josh says... Hmm.

See, I can understand making out with a model, and maybe even Bowie (isn't he bi?), but I think the Nobel would just be weird. I just imagine myself cradling it close to my face, seductively licking the bronze and saying, "I bet Al wasn't this good a kisser."

+kate says... this. was. hilarious. especially the bubble tape one.

+Stine says... I was there for the bubble tape one. I think I saved Joshua's life when I made him spit it out in a trash can -- post ex encounter. The size of that pink ball was impressive.

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