Conversations Bernadette and I have recently had that make me believe we're on our way to becoming a vaudeville act:

1. The other day she texts me, saying "I wish they'd fix these trains!" I respond, "You mean so they don't keep breeding and having baby trains?"

Ba-dum-CHING!

2. Bernadette occasionally calls me from work and asks me to look up things for her online. Yesterday she called, asking, "Is your computer running?" "Yeah," I responded. She yelled: "Well then you better catch it!"

Wakka wakka!

If we were to take this show on the road I like to think we'd call ourselves Bernstein & Berg and we'd look something like this: