I'm somewhat of a chef. And by chef I mean I know how to turn on my oven. Kind of.

My favorite thing to cook? Pizza. And over the years I've had a few experimental cases. First there was the radioactive pizza (kudos to Micah for suggesting I use black olives instead of black beans):

Then there was my eight layer pizza which included several different kinds of cheese, red and green peppers, tomatoes, onions, Doritos, mashed potatoes and a few other things I can't remember (and probably don't want to). Man, oh man, did I have a stomach ache after that.

My next attempt looks relatively normal by comparison. If I remember correctly it was made with alfredo sauce, tomatoes, asparagus and parmesan. Truly, the only sane entry on this list.

Lastly there was my try at pizza soup, which was really just a bread bowl made with pizza dough, filled with tomato soup and covered with melted cheese. Still, why eat pizza with your hand when you can eat it with a spoon? No, seriously, I'm asking.