Yesterday Arjewtino sent me an email that said "I think you should Photoshop yourself into the magazine cover and answer the exact same questions Hugh answered," along with this link to Hugh Jackman as People's Sexiest Man Alive cover and interview.

Clearly Arjewtino knows my weakness for both Photoshop, challenges and fake interviews. So without any further ado...

You turned 40 October 12 and now you're the Sexiest Man Alive. What was your wife's response?
"First of all, I'm nowhere NEAR 40, okay? I know I don't moisturize or anything, but I don't look THAT old do I? Jesus. Why don't you just kick me in the crotch and tell me I'm ugly?"

Your marriage is a success story.
"Is that supposed to be a question? First off, I don't know if I agree with that. I mean, I'm not even married yet. The wedding is in January. We're both pretty pumped. So, y'know, fingers crossed. But I wouldn't really call it a success story before it even begins. That'd be like if the liberal media was saying Obama is a successful president even though he hasn't even started yet. [Assistant whispers something to Mr. Eisenberg] What? Media outlets everywhere are saying that? Oh."

How do you keep the passion alive?
"Three words: Magic fingers bed. You drop in the quarter and and let the fun start, know what I'm sayin'? [Gesturing towards giggling photographer] This guy gets it. It's all about the finesse, you know what I mean? There's no use in movin' if you're not groovin, am I right? And as an added bonus: You don't have to do as much work."

Are you self-conscious about any body part?
"My eyelashes. I've always been a little self-conscious of those. Luckily I got eyelash implants a few years ago. Literally saved my life. True story."

What part do people like best?
"Honestly, my - [assistant whispers into Mr. Eisenberg's ear] Oh, this is a family magazine? Hmm. Um, let's go with eyes. Sure. Why not. Chicks dig that answer, right?"

What do you wear to bed?
"Just a smile. Along with pajama bottoms, a t-shirt and some socks. Maybe a long sleeve shirt or long underwear if it's chilly."