From The Onion‘s October 22nd issue, the A.V. Club’s interview with John Hodgman:
AVC: There was an editorial in The New York Times yesterday by David Brooks ["The Class War Before Palin," 10/9/08], a conservative columnist, about how the Republican Party has rejected intellectualism and devoted itself to sort of ruling from the gut and painting the other side as a bunch of pointy-headed elitists.
JH: Yes, anti-expertise.
AVC: Exactly. And I couldn’t help but think of your “resident expert” persona as the comedic personification of that. Is this the right time to be you, in a way?
JH: It’s a lot better time to be me now than it was in 1948, because I wasn’t born then. That would have made it more challenging.

Last night I was heading home in a cab. The driver and I hadn’t said a word to each other, other than where I was going. He had NPR on the radio.
“John McCain was in New Hampshire today,” the newscaster on the radio said, “While there he spoke to crowds, accusing his opponent, democratic nominee Barack Obama, of being an academic.”
At this both the cab driver and I burst out laughing, unable to stop.
“He’s too smart to be President?” the cab driver asked through laughs. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” I reply.
Seriously, McCain? This is the tactic you’re trying now? He’s too much into the book learnin’?
November 4th can’t come soon enough.

My dream from last night:
It’s November 4th, election night, and I. Am. Tired. “I just need to stay awake a little longer so I can see who wins,” I tell myself. But you know what? I’m too tired. I pass out.
The next morning I wake up and the Metallurgist has already gone to work so I can’t ask her who won. The internet is out too so I can’t go online to find out. I head outside, looking for a newspaper, but all the vending boxes are empty – people have bought all the papers up.
I’m going crazy at this point, scrambling to find out who won. I want to ask someone on the street but no one will make eye contact or acknowledge me. I get onto the train, trying to read the backs of newspapers that people are reading. I can’t find out who won and it’s killing me!
After about 15 minutes I finally find out the winner.
It’s Obama. Whew!
Talk about suspense between a dream and a nightmare.

After reading yesterday’s post the Metallurgist asked, “You do know that Esq. = lawyer, right?”
“Are you insinuating that the diploma from Harvard I have hanging next to my desk is a fake?” I asked.
“Hey, I’m just sayin’,” she replied. “However, my dad will be quite pleased with this new development.”
After that little conversation I started thinking about my law practice a bit more seriously. What did all my hard thinkin’ lead to? The realization that I’d probably be more successful if I had a partner (I mean, just look at how much more crime Batman fought once he had Robin on his side).
So without further ado I present the law firm of Arjewtino & Berg W.F.

(I figured we’d bring in more money if we were both Jews)

Dear Sir I Saw This Morning at the Corner of Lincoln and Barry,
At first I couldn’t tell what you were doing. As you sidled up next to the building that houses the Army Navy Surplus you looked around suspiciously and it seemed as though you were carrying a can of spray paint.
“Is he really going to tag at 10 in the morning?” I thought to myself.
You looked around nervously again and it seemed as though you were shaking what I assumed was a can of spray paint. “Should I do something?” I thought. “Say something?”
It was then that I saw the stream of water. You, kind sir, were not spray painting at 10am, in broad daylight, on a busy street corner. No, you, sir, were peeing.
Bravo for going against the grain and choosing not to go into the Starbucks that was a mere 20 yards away. That, sir, would have been the obvious choice. But you’re not obvious, are you? Well, except for urinating on the broad side of a building at a six-way intersection at 10 in the morning.
Yes, sir, what you did takes moxie, an extremely small bladder and a blatant disregard for others. And you, sir, have all three (in spades!).
In closing, one can only hope that you didn’t wrap up your morning by pooping in a trash can.
Kind Regards,
-Joshua D. Eisenberg, Esq.

It’s a few nights ago and the Metallurgist and I are playing Trivial Pursuit. She’s filling out thank you cards at the same time, writing a few sentences, signing her name and then sliding the card over to me to sign before putting it in an envelope.
After about four or five of these she asks, “Aren’t you worried about what I’m making you sign?”
“It doesn’t bother me, Radar,” I say. “As long as I’m not signing for a stolen Jeep.”

Last night, looking for a Thai restaurant online, I went to the trusty Yelp.
I got the front page, about to type in something to search, when I saw this on the right side of the page:

Well Dressed Librarian! What are you doing on the Yelp?! I’ve always listened to you for your “moral of this blog” but not for your reviews! Consider me converted.