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Waffle Ripper

originally written Thursday, September 30th, 2010

This morning D and I got into a pretty bad fight. It was one of those fights where she said she hated my face and I ripped up a waffle and I’m sure we won’t even remember the details by tonight, but at the time it was pretty bad.

But the one thing she said that really stuck with me was that nothing is really changing for me yet, but things are already changing for her, and that I needed to realize that. It’s like they say, the woman feels like a mother as soon as she gets pregnant, the man feels like a father once the baby is born.

I know that a baby is coming, I do. I understand that come April our lives our going to change in ways that we can’t even imagine of yet. And I guess that’s part of the problem. I have this idealized idea of us taking the baby to the farmers market, and me taking the baby to a coffee shop and it sleeps while I do work, and Pamper’s executives walking us to up in the store and exclaiming, “Your baby is so beautiful, we must put it on the side of our boxes!” While the real life version if probably going to just be me, unshowered for 5 days, holding the baby and sobbing, “Why won’t you stop crying?”

D and I are pretty lucky in the respect that our swingin’, rock and roll lifestyle pretty much faded out about a year ago, so at least we won’t have to adjust that part of our life. We don’t do that much going out, either for drinking or eating or…whatever else people leave the house for. But even though we’re complete hermits there are still some changes that will need to be made. I’m not the best “roll with the punches” guy and I think to be a great dad I’m going to need to get better at that. I could plan all I want and love my routines, but the baby probably won’t care about any of that.

“You’ve got 6 more months to work on cutting that shit out,” D said to me after I ripped up my waffle. And while I don’t know if I can fix all my “stuff” in six months, I’m really going to try. I remember a couple fights my parents had when I was little, and my dad was the “waffle ripper”. I really don’t want to be that.

I guess somewhere, sometime, everyone is a waffle ripper – I just don’t want my kid to see that if they don’t have to, you know?

Category: Uncategorized 6 comments »

6 Responses to “Waffle Ripper”

  1. k8
    October 20th, 2010 at 8:47 am

    You’ll figure it out, my friend. Don’t worry. First time parents make lots and lots of mistakes. You know what you want to work on, so you start taking a look at it now. You make some little changes here and there and come babytime? It will be okay. It really will.

  2. Librarian Girl
    October 25th, 2010 at 10:53 am

    I am totally adding Waffle Ripper to my vocabulary.

  3. MIcah ( Your Brother)
    October 30th, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    So, is Waffle Ripper code for “punched a whole in the wall”? I remember that.

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