As some of you know (and some of you don't) I'm moving today. No huge move. I'm just going from 60614 to 60613. We'll see how it goes. But I was talking about moving with Sean the other day.

Sean: You know what's stupid?
Me: What?
Sean: Packing food.
Me: I agree.
Sean: I just feel like an idiot when I pack food to move.
Me: There is something about putting mustard and bread and juice in a box and then sealing it...you just kind of feel stupid.
Sean: Yeah.

Yesterday Micah and I stopped by Starbucks to get a drink.

Cashier: That'll be $6.48.
Micah and I both whip out our Starbucks cards
Me: Take mine!
Micah: Take mine!
Me: No, take mine!
The Starbucks guy takes mine
Me: I hope there's something on there. He swipes the card.
Starbucks Guy: Actually, that card is empty.
Me: Shit. I whip out another one. Here try, this one. The SB swipes it through.
SB: This one only has nine cents on it.
Micah shoots me a smug look as he hands the Starbucks Guy his card
Micah: This should work.
Me: Fine, rub it in!
SB: Would you like to know the remaining balance?
Me: No! No that's okay!

As Micah and I are standing by the sugar waiting for our drinks Micah tells me that he feels that "Keeping money on my Starbucks card is like a good investment. I'll always have money on there just in case I need coffee." The man doesn't have an IRA, but he will never be without Starbucks.

Yesterday, in the cab on the way to work, I saw an advertisement for the movie Taxi hanging from the rearview mirror. Somehow I found it hard to believe that my Middle Eastern driver was a big fan of the Jimmy Fallon/Queen Latifa buddy movie. I could be wrong. It did take place in a cab after all.

I food shop at Treasure Island ("America's Most European Supermarket!") which has samples sitting out more than your average Dominick's or Jewel.

So of course I take something from each of the samples. And then I feel obligated to make a face that says, "Hmm, I'm seriously thinking about buying this item. I'm not just some person who's hungry and wants to eat some food. No! I am contemplating buying this. Hmm. It's not that bad. But not today." That's the face I make.

I need to feel that if anyone is watching me I won't look like a moocher. I'll look like I'm really contemplating buying that olive oil or pineapple.

This afternoon while waiting for the train a man came up to me, standing extremely close while looking at me. "Want some water?" he asked, pulling a bottle of Evian out of his bag.

Me: Um, no, that's okay.
Him: Well then how about some rum?
Me: No, that's fine.
Him: (holding up the bottle of Evian) Smell this.
Me: That's okay, I don't -
Him: Smell it.
Me: I don't even really have a good sense of smell.
Him: C'mon. (he holds the bottle in front of my nose. it smells like rum)
Me: Wow.
Him: Yeah, I just stole it from the Dominicks. I'm trying to get arrested.
Me: Why are you trying to get arrested?
Him: Well I'm lonely.
Me: I don't know if getting arrested is the best way to cure loneliness.
Him: I'm 45, my woman left me, and I lost my job. Good song, but I think Johnny Cash did it first.
Me: Yeah.
Him: Ha ha! Man in black.
Me: Yeah.
(just then my train gets there)
Me: Well, this is my train.

I want to say that I don't purposely attract the weirdos...but several people have said that they certainly wouldn't stand for them they way I do. Maybe I just have a good weirdo tolerance.

Last night I had a horrible dream that for some reason I was trying to shoot Bernadette. I don't know why, I just was.

I woke up from the dream slightly disoriented, with a bad feeling in my stomach, like when you wake up from an unpleasant dream and can still feel it. I had been sitting in bed a minute when the phone rang. I reached over to get it, the caller ID saying that it was 4:52 am. And it was Bernadette.

Me: Hello?
Bern: Hey, are you up?
Me: It's 5 am. Why would I be up?
Bern: Okay. Well I just wanted to let you know I'm on my way home.
(click!)

Bernadette got home a few minutes later, drunk and talkative, making it impossible for me to fall back asleep for a while. ...Suddenly I didn't feel as bad about that dream.

Also, the new Cheese of the Week is up. Cheese of the Month perhaps? Maybe?

Dan, the other bartender at Kit Kat, enjoys protein bars. In fact, "enjoys protein bars" is an understatement. Dan is a protein-aholic. That being said, Dan thought he'd branch out the other day and try a new protein bar named Odyssey Bar. And it was good. Then on Dan's second night of enjoying it I happened to grab the wrapper and read it.

Me: "Care Instructions: You only get one body in this life. Take good care of it."
Dan: Oh man. That's lame.
Me: Yeah.
Him: That's too bad. That really tasted good. It's too bad I can never buy it again.
Me: Yeah.

The other day Kellie was telling me about how her roommate Kim was going to be giving up living in Chicago and going to optometry school to live with her boyfriend in Indiana and go to optometry school there. Besides the fact that she was giving up living in Chicago for living in Indiana I said, "Optometry school, that's easy anyway. It's like, day one: 'Better like this, or better like this? (pause) Better like this, or better like this?' Day two: Diploma."

Kel refused to think this was funny. But you see my point!? ...I'm just saying.

A few blocks from my house there's an old large stone building that looks like it may have been a bank at one time. Maybe not. In any event, as you walk closer towards the building you can see that directly over the doorway, engraved in the stone, is the word "Perfection". Now, it's a nice building and all but...c'mon man. Personally, I think the designer was just a bit too full of himself.

The other day I had borrowed Kami's car for the morning. I was making a phone call and needed a pen to write down a few things. Scrambling, I looked through the middle console, the armrest, anywhere to find a pen. I reached over and opened up the glove compartment. Rolling around inside were tiny bottles of Grey Goose and several bottles of pills.

But of course. What else would I expect to find in Kami's glove compartment?

I spent the weekend with Kel at the W hotel downtown. Among the highlights...

I told her how at work they sneakily delivered two cases of the new Starbucks liquor to us even though we didn't order it.
Me: That's, like, $250 worth of Starbucks!
Kel: Ooh, you should make a new martini with that. Like, a Starbucks martini.
Me: Oh jeez.
Kel: You can call it the frappuccino-tini.
Me: We're not making a frappuccini-tini.
Kel: No, frappuccino-tini!

A benefit and auction for the PACTT (a foundation that does something dealing with autism) was held in the ballroom of the W. Kel and I tried to guess what it stood for, as we saw people who had won everything from iPods to baseball bats walk past us. "Parents for Autistic Children Through Teaching"? "People for Autisticly Challenged Tiny Tots"? On the elevator ride up to our room we were joined by an older couple leaving the benefit.
Me: We were actually curious, what does PACTT stand for?
Older Guy: Well it's an organization that deals with autism.
Me: Yeah, but I mean, what does PACTT stand for
Older: Oh. Well, I don't really know. It's one of those acronym things. But I have no idea what it means.

And lastly, I was telling Kel (who has a cell phone through Cingular) about an annoying threesome who had been sitting at the bar the night before who worked for Cingular, and who were telling why their company was so great.
Kel: You know if you switch to Cingular then we could talk to each other for free.
Me: You mean...switch cell phone companies?
Kel: Well yeah.
Me: I don't know about that. I mean...I like you and all but...
Kel: Oh stop.
Me: No, I'm serious. I thought we were just having fun. But switching cell phones...that's...I mean...
Kel: Cut it out.
Me: ...That's a big step. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment.

The other day I had lunch with Leah (my old boss at the library), and somehow it came up that Leah used to live by a bar that Bernadette worked at.

Leah: Oh yeah, I used to go there all the time while I was waiting for my laundry.
Me: Waiting for your laundry?
Leah: Yeah. But then after a while I had to stop going because I started having trouble with the folding.

Oh Leah, I miss your drunk shenanigans.

Recently I had been given the assignment to write down 101 things that I would like to do in the next ten years. This assignment was dispensed to me by Kel when I was feeling particularly unmotivated, and while I have yet to feel motivated enough to accomplish anything on the list...well, it didn't hurt to make it.

Things on the list ranged from the impressive (#12: Run the Chicago marathon; #11: Have a savings account with $10,000 in it; #87: Make up my own palindrome) to the just plain stupid (#20: Keep a plant alive for at least a year; #31: Crush grapes with bare feet; #67: Sit in a bath all day - live like a prune!). If nothing else, it was interesting to stretch my mind a bit and think of things I wouldn't mind doing.

Anyway, if you have the means, I highly recommend it. Anyone care to share?