There are those who have relationships based on love, or trust, or even just sex. Kate and I have a relationship based on pizza.

Kate and I have known each other for several years, and in that time there is one thing that we can always agree on: Pizza is great. On the other hand, there are lots of things that we can't agree on (I said "strawberry banana smoothie"! Not peach! I would know! I hate peach! Why would I order a peach smoothie? Jeez!). Sadly, Kate moved away from Chicago to downstate Illinois earlier in the year. Luckily a love of pizza is the kind of thing that can survive long distances.

So since our relationship isn't the kind based on something like sex (which can produce children), we decided to find out what a relationship based on pizza could produce. The answer (besides a stomach ache from too many slices)? A blog devoted to pizza reviews! So please, go check out A Slice of (Life and) Pizza. We'll be giving you the word on pizza places here and downstate. And you should trust us, we're experts.

Last night a family came into the restaurant. "What stinks?" their 4-year-old daughter asked. "That's the candles sweetie," her mom said, "and I think they smell nice." The little girl made a scrunched up face.

Her 10-year-old brother looked at me. "Just wait 'til she starts dating," he says, rolling his eyes.

Needless to say, the little girl held her nose all the way to the table. I think to myself how she sounds like one of my dates.

There's a new It's All Relative up, in case there are one or two of you out there who haven't forgotten about it.

Today while going through my closet I found an old UPS jacket I had acquired...somehow. I decided a picture with the jacket was necessary.

I call this photo, "What can Brown do for YOU, sweet cheeks?"

Last night Bernadette sent me an instant message.

Bern: im soupset
Me: soupset?
Bern: my spacebar isnt'working
Me: oh. I thought that was like...angry with soup

Like any good restaurant, the place that I work has a reservation book. And when someone comes in without a reservation we write them down as a 'walk in', just to keep track of how many people we do.

Last night we had a reservation under the name Walken for 7:30. Ironically, Walken never showed up. Hmm.

In other news...my good friend Byron (who you may know from That's Mr. Byron to You under Fellow Bloggers) has started his own business. 5FoldINK (or Five Fold Inc. for those of you who aren't hip to the lingo), specializes in greeting cards, personalized notebooks, posters and much more. It's hip, it's trendy, and it makes the Mead notebook you're using now look like a dog turd. An out of style dog turd. So drop by 5FoldINK's site (at fivefoldink.com, what else?) and buy some stuff. If you don't...well, evidently you're okay using a notebook that reminds you of dog feces.

A year or two ago I joined Classmates.com. I'm sure you've all joined equally stupid websites at some time or another. And while I never actually go to the site, occasionally Classmates.com will send me an e-mail. Today my inbox was holding such an e-mail and I decided to read it, just to see what was up. It read:

Someone from Wheaton North High School wrote this bio:

'Right now I'm doing my part to rid the world of radical Muslims, and having fun doing it!'

And people wonder why I don't like to go home and visit.

Kami is currently dog sitting Benny the dog.

"Benny should have puppies and name them The Jets," I tell her.

While I'm at her house she takes leftover sausage pizza and reheats it for us to eat. I don't like sausage and pick it off my pizza. It sits on a plate just out of Benny's reach. I feel bad for him.

"Hey Kami," I say, "is it alright if I let Benny eat my sausage?"

I cringe at how dirty my question sounds.

Last night at work I answer the phone. "Thanks for calling Josh, how can I help you?"

I think I need a vacation.

The following is a list of costumes I saw last night while handing out candy at Bernadette's house. This list includes (but is not excluded to):

Batman
A pilgrim
A pirate
Two girls who looked like they were doing jazzercise or were in the movie Flashdance
A 7-year-old pimp (complete with green suit, orange fedora, cane, and $ bling necklace)
70's Elvis with white jumpsuit and sideburns who took my candy and said "Thankyou. Thankyouverymuch."
Buzz Lightyear
Supergirl
Dorothy
A giraffe

And last but not least, Darth Vader was walking down the sidewalk past Darth Maul (both of them with their masks resting on top of their heads) and got into an impromptu light saber fight in the middle of the sidewalk.

Sure, trick or treating when I was little was fun. But being a spectator is so much better.

p.s. I'd really like to see a 6-year-old as Andy Warhol next year. That would really make my night.