berg with fries

I'm a Gentrification Powerhouse

2009-11-25T13:58:36Z

A few days ago I was walking to my morning train, headed to work. In my neighborhood, where white folks are about 4% of the population, I typically tend to stick out. But that's usually fine by me. Everyone smiles, everyone says hello, no one gives me a hard time. As I'm walking to the train an older couple is on the sidewalk, the man raking leaves and the woman watching him. They both smile at me as I walk past, and once I'm beyond them I hear them talking about me loudly. "Have you seen him around before?" the woman asks. "Once or twice," the man replies. "Do you know him?" the woman continues. "Nope," the man says. There's a pause between them, and then a sigh from the woman. "Well, there goes the neighborhood."

Walk Like a Murph

2009-11-13T13:39:25Z

Every day when I take Murphy out for his morning walk through the park I think, "I really should have brought a camera." So today I did.

Clothes Make the Woman

2009-11-11T17:47:32Z

Last night the wife told me that she kept a clothes calendar. I had no idea what a clothes calendar was, so she showed me. And then I was delighted. The basic idea is that she just draws a picture of what she's wearing that day on her desktop calendar at work. I do like how occasionally a little emotion is added, like the "sick day frown" on the 10th above. Does anyone else do anything like this? I'm curious to see if this is a widespread thing that I had no idea about.

Good Reads

2009-11-10T13:59:51Z

Titles of sex and STD pamphlets that are handed out to students in the fiction writing department: - The Old Man and the Hepatitis C - Catch 22 Cases of Herpes - The Dick Also Rises: A Guide to Erectile Disfunction - The Diseases They Carried - The Hitchhikers Guide to Gonorrhea - The Color Purple (And When It Shouldn't Be) - Moby Dick

Calendar Apathy

2009-11-09T16:36:22Z

I have an issue with Google Calendar. It's not that it's a bad program (it's not). And it's not that it's not easy to navigate and use (it is). It's that I don't use it. And when I say that "I" have an issue with Google Calendar that means "my wife" has an issue with Google Calendar. And that issue is (you guessed it) me not using it. With Google Calendar she posts birthdays, anniversaries, flight arrivals, parties, festivals and events, days off, etc. I use it as a feature to pitch to my clients when I try and sell them on using Google Apps with their business. But I don't actually use it for myself. This weekend all things Google Calendar came to a head when we realized that the wife's mother is coming to down the same weekend that my mom is having a birthday thing. "Why didn't you put your mom's thing on the Google Calendar?" my wife asked, eyes drilling into my soul. And in that situation what can anyone really do but admit they're not really using their brain as much as they'd like and crawl up into a hole to hide? Luckily we worked things out, but this isn't the first time I've gotten metaphorically hit on the nose with a rolled up newspaper for not using Google Calendar. So my question is this: does anyone know any 3rd party apps or easier ways out there to add events to Google Calendar? Ones I'd be, well, more prone to use?

Then and Now

2009-11-05T20:10:00Z

Last week Gapers Block had a link to a great Flickr set Chicago photos from years past (including a cool photo of the Hancock building being built). Looking over the photos it was interesting to see how different the city looks now (duh), and it gave me the idea to look for more old photos of the city (most I discovered are from the 1960s) and go take photos in the exact spot the original photo was taken. What I was struck by most once I started looking at the photos side by side was how crowded things look now. Trees, signs, powerlines, bike racks, flower boxes, streetlights, etc. Obviously things change, but it's rare that you get to look at photos of the exact same spot, side by side, from 50 years apart. Below are the results. Michigan Ave., looking north from Superior St. [The Water Tower in the current photo almost completely blends in, and the Palmolive Building on the right is the only real way to tell that it's even the same spot.] Michigan Ave., looking north from Jackson Blvd. State St., looking north from Randolph St. Michigan Ave., looking north from the Chicago River Looking south across the Chicago River at Wacker Dr. The northwest corner of Dearborn and Ontario [The former home of the Chicago Historical Society from the 1890s until 1931, this building now houses a nightclub named Excalibur.]

Beards & Blogs

2009-11-04T17:48:27Z

Pulling a Brett Favre

2009-11-03T13:04:16Z

So remember how yesterday I said I was done with blogging? Well I had to share this. Last night somebody commented on one of YouTube videos: "Good idea but the goofy jewish guy is a bit much." He's probably just trying to be funny, I thought to myself. But then I looked at the person's YouTube page. And you know what? He's a Nazi. Now you may be thinking, Josh, I'm sure the guy isn't a Nazi. But he is. Proof? He has videos with titles like European White Beauty that are filled with swastikas and photos of Hitler. I really wanted to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. "Maybe that's just a German thing," I told the wife. "That's a Nazi thing," she reassured me. "German people do as much as they can to distance themselves from Hitler." That's what I was afraid of. "I can't believe you just got Nazi'd," she said, shaking her head as we watched TV. Which, by the way, would be the worst idea for a spin-off of Punk'd. Too much for my first day back?

So Long

2009-11-02T15:56:04Z

When I first started blogging back in 2002 blogging was on the new side. I had a Blogger account back then and I remember that titles were a special feature. That's right, in order to put a title on an entry (like that 'So Long' up there) you had to upgrade to a premium account. And me, being the nerd I was am, I paid that $14.95 for the year in order to put titles on my posts. A little bit after that Blogger realized that titles were a god given right and gave everyone free titles. And to make up for me spending $14.95 they sent me a Blogger hoodie, which I may or may not still own. Hoodies aside, I've made friends through blogging, I've made enemies through blogging, I've raised money through blogging and I met my wife through blogging, Over the almost eight years since I stared blogging I've written 1,507 posts, moved 5 times, started my own business and gotten married. And now I think I might be done. Granted, I may occasionally need a place to share my movie ideas (and photoshopped posters) or to post a funny list I came up with, but for the most part I think I'm through. I'll still be on Twitter, but while I think of Twitter as tiny blogging I know that's not the same. You may not have known me and I may not have known you, but I appreciate it. So in case I don't come back, thanks for reading.

The Theater!

2009-10-13T17:26:13Z

Movies that should be turned into Broadway musicals: - When Harry Met Sally (starring Matthew Broderick and Kristen Chennowith) - Dog Day Afternoon (starring Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick) - The Life Aquatic (starring Nathan Lane) - All The Presidents Men (starring Matthew Broderick and Neil Patrick Harris)

Teaching What She Wants

2009-10-09T16:07:42Z

There's a class of visiting foreign students that regularly crashes the coffee shop that I frequent downtown. They're herded in by their teacher, an older woman who looks like she used to be a hippie and hasn't quite let go of it. She sits with them over tea and talks with them about America. Sometimes it makes me a little angry. Today she was talking about Michael Moore. "Has anyone here seen Sicko?" Everyone stares at her, their faces blank. "Sicko," she repeats. "It's that Michael Moore movie about America's arrogant health care system." I can't help but roll my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not thrilled with heath care in this country, but I'm not going to shove propaganda down foreigners' throats. One student recognizes what she's talking about and says. "Ah! Michael Moore. He is American trouble maker, yes?" The teacher scowls at him and says "He's an activist and a genius." My eyes roll so far back in my head I can see my brain. "Well don't worry," the teacher continues, "I'll show you guys Sicko next week." No wonder the rest of the world hates us.

Testing 1, 2, 3

2009-10-08T14:50:52Z

Scene: The wife and I are in bed, falling asleep. Her phone beeps in the other room. Wife: (despite the fact that I'm half asleep and don't have my phone) Did you just tweet? Me: Uh huh. It's this new program called BrainTweet. You just think it and it gets published. It's still in beta but it works well. Wife: (elbows me) What's beta? Me: You know, when software has some kinks and bugs and they're still working them out so they just call it beta so people know that things can go wrong. Wife. But FarmVille is in beta. Me: So? Wife: What about those people that have huge farms? Me: They've been playing for a while. Wife: There are some inconsistencies in your story, Eisenberg. Me: Even though something has been out for a while it can still be in beta. Some programs can be in beta for years while they're being testing. Wife: (nods in understanding) Our marriage is in beta.

Not As Funny

2009-10-06T15:21:40Z

Last night, while driving home from work, Wife calls me. In an excited tone she announces that the car in front of her has the license plate "MYCOUGAR". "Wife," I say in a calm tone, "does the car in front of you happen to be a Mercury Cougar?" There is silence. Then: "Yeah. Yeah it is." I hate ruining a cougar joke as much as the next guy, but it had to be done for the sake of accuracy.

Too Bad, So Sad

2009-10-05T16:48:58Z

In the early 20th century Chicago won the bid to host the 1904 Summer Olympics. This did not sit well with St. Louis. The latter city planned to launch it's own event, informing Chicago that its international sports activities would eclipse Chicago's Olympic Games unless they were moved to St. Louis. Pierre de Coubertin, the founder of the modern Olympic movement, gave in and awarded the games to St. Louis. Chicago was also in the running for the 1952 Olympic games, but in 1947, at the final presentations in Stockholm, no one from the city showed up. Not the mayor, not any of the organizers, no one. Needless to say we didn't get the '52 Olympics either. Friday afternoon Chicago was eliminated from the running to be the 2016 Olympic city in the first round, even after we trotted out Daley and Obama. I love you, Chicago, but face it: The likelihood of getting the Olympic games is about the same as the Cubs winning a World Series. Why not just stick to what you do best and indite a politician.

Too Much?

2009-10-02T19:34:50Z

Last night the wife and I are watching a commercial for the wedding reality show Say Yes to the Dress. "You know what I'd like to see?" I ask. "A show where the groom's best man is a jerk that nobody likes and the groom has to get rid of them. Call it Say No to the Bro." The wife chimes in: "I'd like to see a show where there's a gay guy that wants to be the wedding planner but he really doesn't have any talent and they have to fire him. The title can be Say No Way to the Gay." I add: "What about a show where the bride and groom to be already have a kid together and they're not sure if they want to include the kid in the wedding. It can be Say Maybe to the Baby." The wife turns to me. "That sounds like a show about abortion."